Chemistry and Compatibility

People often confuse chemistry and compatibility.

Chemistry is that electric spark  that you feel, an intense feeling of excitement and attraction, where you have butterflies in your stomach and you think, is this the one?

But chemistry can also be just surface level. You had a good time, talked about a lot of things and have fun which is great. But do you know if your paths and purpose are aligned? 

For a relationship to stand the test of time, a deeper connection is important, the connection called compatibility.

Compatibility to me requires three things.

• Honest Communication 

  • Can you talk to the other person freely,  share your innermost thoughts,  be at  a place where you can be your authentic self?

• Long term Vision and Values 

  • Do your life goals align? Are you both in a similar place in life and looking to move to the next phase?

• Common Interests 

  • Do you like enough of the same things so that your daily functional life is easy.  Dinner every night shouldn’t be a debate. You can fake it once or twice but eventually it will become difficult to manage.

Truth is, you can feel chemistry with a lot of people but that doesn’t mean they are the right one to build a connection with. 

So don’t just get caught up in just chemistry or spark. It's an important force but we shouldn’t confuse it with compatibility and think if there’s no chemistry it's not going to work.

You need a balance of both chemistry and compatibility to have a healthy and long term relationship.